In Disney’s Aladdin, the young protagonist invites the beautiful princess Jasmine to a date on a flying magic carpet ride with the words, “Do you trust me?” It works out very well as they fall in love while touring some historical monuments. If only real life were so easy. When my wife and I were dating, we went river rafting with a large group. Despite my lack of experience, I was selected as a “captain” of one of the rafts, which meant I had to manage the rudder while calling out orders for the other passengers. I will spare you the details of the awkward but hilarious relationship drama that followed, except to say that my future bride and I were not singing any love ballads that day as it became clear she didn’t trust that I could lead us safely down the rapids. Despite my bruised ego, she was right not to trust me as I had no credibility in that role.
In his book, The Speed of Trust, Stephen M.R. Covey reminds us of some basic truths about how trust really works and how it profoundly impacts everything in life and business; namely, that trust is developed through relationship over time and like Jacob’s ladder leading toward heaven, it requires the support of two rails: competence and character. In other words, it is not enough just to know your stuff, nor does it suffice to be a well-intentioned saint. You’ve got to have sturdiness on both sides of the ladder to climb skyward where it just gets better and better.
You might ask how someone could have a best-selling book on leadership with such a simple premise, but Covey’s message is a prophetic one in a world where many leaders are failing to foster the trust they need to be successful. Some expect to command the full confidence of their people based on their credentials and position alone, perhaps rushing to take on Class-5 rapids when they haven’t demonstrated their competence in tamer waters. Many others adopt a similarly skewed view of trust in their management style, extending their “trust” as one might when purchasing a kitchen appliance. You trust the thing will make your life easier until it causes a bit of grief. Frustrated and let down, you begin plotting how you might exchange it for an upgraded model. Using people like consumable products while calling it “trust” reveals poor character in a leader and ensures that real trust will move in exactly the wrong direction; and down with it will go teamwork, morale, productivity, and results.
Effective leaders don’t ask for trust they haven’t earned, nor do they overextend trust to others out of personal convenience. Rather, they establish a realistic base from which to build trusting relationships over time and they intentionally invest along the way to develop competence and character in themselves and others. This may not sit well with leaders deeply concerned with equal treatment as not everyone is equally worthy of trust, but it is the model we find in scripture. Jesus differentiated his trust among people based on what he knew they could handle (John 2:24) and contrary to popular notions of “blind faith,” Jesus’ gentle requests for our complete trust and obedience are always based on his worthiness of the honor (Rev. 5:12). So how worthy are you of people’s trust and how worthy are they of yours?
Note – Though it didn’t seem like it at the time, my first rafting date with my wife turned out to be a big win. We made it safely down the rapids and returned several years later to do it all again, this time in a two-person raft as a married couple!
Reflection Questions
Where is trust currently at in your key relationships and in what direction is it moving?
What aspect of trust might be suffering in these relationships, competence (ability and results) or character (integrity and good intentions)?
How might you intentionally strengthen the trust in these key relationships moving forward?
